Today’s Dating Environment

by Elise McIntosh

There seems to be a lot of tiptoeing around in today’s dating environment. Many singles, even the totally self-assured, are hesitant to express themselves freely, concerned if they reveal too much too soon, they may be rejected.

Because of this perceived fear — which only really gets to people if they allow it to — many singles have learned to be very cautious about what they say and do. Consciously, or not, they mask different parts of their personalities from the very people they are trying to get to know on a deeper level. It’s pretty ironic, actually.

Of course, it’s totally advisable to put your best foot forward, especially toward a romantic interest you believe has real potential, and so that may mean covering certain personality quirks during the early stages of courting.

However, many people are crossing the line into the icky world of artificial — from Photoshop pics to lies about salaries and age. Inevitably, this kind of “bait-and-switch” comes back to haunt them.

Unfortunately, the ways of meeting people today don’t help matters much. From Internet dating to speed-dating, these profitable matchmaking services make people feel like they need to make an immediate good impression — and if they fail, and don’t have good self-esteems intact, they are made to feel like losers. And so, lying becomes very attractive.

Also partly to blame for all the deception is this “grass is greener” approach society has taken toward dating, in which people may be perfectly content with their partners, but always have in the back of their minds that someone better may come along.

Rather than paving the way to a more compatible match, this belief often sabotages existing relationships, preventing people from ever really getting close to their partners, who find it hard to let their guards down when there is this unspoken, yet perceivable threat.

It’s only once people stop chasing the dream of finding the “perfect” mate — since he or she does not exist — that couples can experience true intimacy, the emotional connection enjoy while unveiling their genuine selves.