The Thirties, and Timing

We often here about timing with men. Women have timing too. And it isn’t just the the ticking of the biological clock. It’s the ticking of a corporate advance, or an artistic opportunity, where age is a definitive factor. For actresses, models and dancers, the urge to move rapidly ahead is paramount in the early thirties. The thirties are the full steam ahead for men. The same is true for women. It’s the imperative to advance in one’s life goals— whether career, or family.

The early thirties still give the illusion of time. Women may feel more relaxed and carefree. The later thirties are the cut off point. Definitive, and absolute, it’s the point in time where women begin to reassess their goals, and wonder if all can be accomplished. There’s only so much time to “have it all.” And questions arise. Can I have it all? Is it possible?

For women, as with men, timing is important. But the factors that affect timing have been altered by the society in which we live. Women are working, and wanting mates. The thirties are a period in which the urgency to meet the mate of their choosing feels heightened. Yes, the biological clock is ticking. Along with the clock of economic advancement. And, add to that the knowledge that they possess power, skill and ability to create their own lives. It’s a new mixture. The thirties for modern women create new concerns unthought of in their mothers’ time period.

We are at an historic time in history. Never before have so many women been at dual crossroads. Many women, still single and wondering if their mate is out there, are preoccupied in their later thirties with the burning questions… “Will I have time to find the right guy? And, if and when I find the right guy, will I have time to have children?” This century has seen a sharp incline in single women reaching their thirties, having entered the work force, and not yet coupled. Yes, they wanted to have it all. Self-sufficient and economically stable, they would prefer a partner for life. But, with no visible partner of choice in sight, the choice becomes one of making new plans, and allowing for their goals to be pushed into their forties. Not of a mind to couple for the wrong reasons, they are single, by choice. It’s a new template, in which many of my friends are finding themselves. They can indeed support themselves. But they won’t settle. They are not to be pitied, as many of them struggle with family and friends who see them as “too independent.” On the contrary. They know what they want, and are content to be true to themselves. They’ve seen the repercussion of failed marriages, and the fall out of divorces that were once held in high esteem.  Not compromising, yet open and wanting a true partner worth their time and effort.

Timing, has become, the time-crunch. The thirties are a period of heightened concerns for today’s women. If the woman you’re dating is in her thirties, she has her plate full. Understand, she must make life altering decisions. Your input is vitally important. Do not hold back. Tell her your goals, and specifically, your goals with her.