Balancing Together, with Alone

Every couple needs together time as well as alone time, to be healthy and in balance. In age-varied relationships, there are obvious differences that call for personal acknowledgment while seeking mutual combination. Age differences can hold contrasting interests and perspectives. While a plus in terms of its contribution to a relationship, there is also the need to continue one’s personal journey of self discovery.

There is the need to be alone with each other, as a couple. Relationships require private time to share intimacy, which allows growth. There is also the need for time spent together in an expanded group setting. This creates a healthy dynamic that allows for unity. There will be new friends that are made as a result of being a couple. Because of the diversity of interests due to the age differences, exciting new dimensions can be incorporated into the individual life, as well.

There must also be time to be alone; alone with oneself, and alone with one’s friends. Time alone balances the individual identity and fosters self-renewal. Solitude and relaxation allow the individual to hear the words of their own thoughts. It allows needed time off from the partnership, to luxuriate in one’s private interests and to maintain inner growth and self-nurturing. It’s restorative. Once fully refreshed, there is a natural desire to return to the company of our mate.

This is a balancing act. We all have to learn how to do it; within ourselves, and within partnership. Without alone time, we resent the intrusion of others into our lives. Without alone time, we lose our personal power and neglect our unique interests. Without together time, we isolate and contract as a human beings. We quit expanding, as we are not able to allow others into our world. The idea of togetherness is to share who we are, in the company of others. We see ourselves through different eyes, and see the world through a different perspective. Togetherness can be the link to greater understanding. It can open our vision to that which is outside of ourselves, while allowing its brilliance to impact us. To strive for a healthy balance of the different types of solitude and communion is to enjoy the full feast of life.