Friend, or “Lover in Waiting?”

Many people believe true friendship cannot occur between the sexes. I disagree. However, the sexual component is always there— and needs to be clearly defined. The role of friend has to be established, and consistent. There are friends who authentically deserve that title. Then, there are friends who have assumed the title by default. Because the category of lover wasn’t offered, there are those we call friends, who are in actuality, “lovers in waiting.”

A true friend cares for our best interest. A lover in waiting is holding their given position in the hopes that, one day, we will discover they are the one we desire. A true friend wants us to be in love, with the one we love. They don’t seek to undermine our relationships, or talk us out of them. A lover in waiting will be happy for the opportunity to share their dislike of our beloved. The lover in waiting, waits. Behind the mask of friend, this person will seek our time and attention, while offering advice (for their own agenda). When you can identify the strategy, you’ll be able to see the difference between the two.