by Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Ph.D.

Dating seems like something best done from the heart. “Not so!” said 10 top relationship experts when asked what it takes to find success while dating. Learn their best dating advice in this article from author and romance expert, Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Ph.D..

Lewandowski Jr. writes, “We’ve all heard the cliché, ‘Follow your heart.’ This well-meaning (but often vague) advice is frequently dispensed by loved ones. However, good intentions don’t always translate to actionable guidance in the world of dating.”

To bridge this gap, Lewandowski Jr. sought dating advice from the experts and reached out to 10 top relationship gurus and posed the question: “What’s the single most valuable tip you can offer for navigating the dating scene?”

  1. Susan Winter, bestselling author and relationship expert, says to establish a protocol for healthy communication. “New relationships are glitchy and subject to assumptions and reactivity. Many times, a prospective partner can misread our actions and misinterpret our behavior. To avoid this type of unnecessary confusion, begin your dating journey with a “communication conversation.” Let your partner know that you appreciate honesty, and you’d like to establish the understanding that it’s safe to share your thoughts and feelings with each other. There is no “bad” or “wrong” attached, just the truthful exchange of vital information. This foundational freedom establishes comfort and safety while eliminating unnecessary conflict and resentments that could derail your relationship journey.”
  2. Damona Hoffman says dating is a skill to be learned, and approaching it with a growth mindset can help you find love.
  3. Gary Lewandowski says focus on qualities that build a strong relationship like kindness and feeling safe, not just initial sparks.
  4. Jaime Bronstein advises trusting your intuition and feelings to find the right person for you.
  5. Helen Fisher suggests using dating apps for introductions, meeting a few people at a time, and focusing on the positive aspects.
  6. Wendy Walsh recommends limiting yourself to considering two potential partners at once to avoid choice overload.
  7. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn emphasizes balanced conversation and making your date feel heard.
  8. Morgan Anderson advises self-reflection and emotional healing to be a desirable partner.
  9. Terri Orbuch highlights the importance of letting go of past relationship baggage.
  10. Christie Kederian stresses looking for consistency in a partner’s character across time.

Want a more in-depth version? Read the full article on Psychology Today here.