Here’s the thing about burnout. It’s sneaky. It kind of creeps up on you so that you know that you’re miserable, but you just can’t really pinpoint why. And since burnout is so often associated with work-related matters, you might assume that those blah feelings festering inside of you are because of a micro-managing boss, not the person you promised to spend the rest of your life with.

What does it mean to burn out? As Psychology Today explained, “burnout usually occurs when you start to feel you’re working too hard for the results that are being produced.” The same can be said of romantic relationships, when you’re putting in so much time, effort, expense, and yes, love, and getting little (or nothing) in return. “Life is challenging and burnout is part and parcel of our modern time period,” Susan Winter, a relationship expert in New York City, tells Romper. “Compile that with a relationship and children, and you have a recipe for burnout.”

But burnout is more than just a bad bout in the relationship or a fight with your fiancé. It’s a relentless sort of unhappiness that pervades every part of your life, including (and especially), your health. Know these 11 shocking physical signs of relationship burnout to determine if it’s time to extinguish the flame for good.

 Lowered Libido

As much as cortisol might rev your body’s engine in some ways, it totally puts the breaks on when it comes to nookie. Cortisol actually lowers your libido, reported Self, subsequently throwing your whole sex life out of whack. And if you’re already having issues with your partner, the last thing you’re probably going to want is to have sex, anyway, agrees Winter. “It’s going to feel as exciting as doing 10 loads of laundry,” says Winter. “You’ll barely go through the motions to make an attempt to keep up your part of the marriage requirement, and you’ll become resentful.”

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