Starting a new relationship can feel very much like a rollercoaster ride, leaving you exhilarated and terrified at the same time. Every text you receive gives you a high, every moment full of new feelings and experiences. But just as every roller coaster has its peaks and valleys, getting serious with someone new can have its pitfalls, too. Do you constantly find yourself worrying that things won’t work out? There’s a term for this phenomenon: new relationship anxiety.
To be clear, it’s fairly normal to feel anxious during such a vulnerable stage, but if left unchecked, that anxiety can fuel a slew of insecurities, fears, and doubts that’ll control the rest of your actions.
“Everyone suffers from some degree of new relationship anxiety if they want the relationship to work,” explains NYC-based relationship expert and dating coach Susan Winter. “The higher the stakes, the greater the anxiety. And if your fears overtake your emotions, you can sabotage your chances at romance.”
Don’t stress, though — experts say there are ways to squash it. Here are a few common signs that you’re experiencing new relationship anxiety, along with some tips on how to overcome it.
5 Signs That You’re Experiencing New Relationship Anxiety
1. You’re Constantly Editing Yourself
If you find yourself deleting and rewriting your texts often, or otherwise editing what you say in front of your new partner, you may be experiencing some anxiety around your new relationship.
“You’re afraid to reveal your feelings and afraid to show your hand,” says Winter.
This behavior often stems from trust-related issues, meaning you fear that if you just act like yourself, your new partner will bailout. So instead, you choose your words very carefully as a means of protecting yourself.
2. You’re Slowly Turning Into a Chameleon
If you’ve seen “Along Came Polly,” you know that pretending to be someone you’re not just to win your love interest over never works (especially if you have IBS and go out for Indian food). But if you’re experiencing new relationship anxiety, that may be just what you resort to doing. Deep down, you’re worried that they won’t like you, so you try to be what you think their ideal partner is.