The morning after my most recent breakup from a serious relationship, I woke up, wiped off my mascara-stained face and wrote out advice for myself in list form. Item one read: “Breakups are excruciating as a default, you can’t escape that.” While that bummer of a truism isn’t the most empowering, I charged on with my list and ended up with a huge document of ideas of things to do after a breakup. And I found it to be hugely helpful as I navigated the healing process.

Since my personal list included items I wouldn’t recommend to others (though I do contend that whatever your version of “have too many gimlets,” “Facebook messages different exes” and “wake up in last night’s dress” is part of the process), I asked experts what they thought. So below, find an expert-informed list of actually healthy and healing things to do after a breakup that allow you to feel your feelings and evolve into a better version of you.

99 things to do after a breakup to become a happier and healthier you

9. Leave the house. “Get some fresh air. Go for a walk, get groceries, do an errand. The more quickly you re-acclimate yourself to normal life, the more quickly you’ll feel normal again.” —relationship expert Susan Winter

16. Capitalize on that first sympathy-heavy week. “Gather your allies and surround yourself with loving and supportive friends. Ask them to make sure that you leave the house, and, if need be, to call you to see that you’ve taken a shower and gotten dressed. Make time to see these allies for coffee, lunch, or dinner.” —Winter

81. Talk to other people about your breakup, but avoid “the loop.” “When you first go through a breakup, it’s important to purge conflicting feelings. But after all that is said and done, it’s important to resist the temptation to go repeat endlessly.” —Winter

Continue reading:

Are you still struggling with a breakup? Book a consultation with Susan today!