Does your date blow off seeing you? Not show up on time? Give endless excuses that don’t add up? These are clear signs the person you fell for is ‘flaky.’ My feature with The Good Men Project shows you how to handle it.
Anggun writes, “Recently, someone commented on one of my articles that they don’t believe in this dating trend.
Sure, the behaviors aren’t new, but if you aren’t aware of them, there’s a chance you’ll make the same mistake over and over again. Let me give you an example from my own experience.
When I was on dating apps, I used to make this mistake at least a couple of times when I couldn’t let go of a guy who constantly flaked on me.
When we talked over the phone, it felt like he was ready to meet and have a date. He kept saying, “I’m so excited to see you!”, but then a day later, he would text me saying something came up, so he needed to reschedule our date.
I didn’t see it as a red flag because, well, he’s very cute and funny.
It took me a while to realize that things wouldn’t go anywhere with this guy, and I should’ve let it go sooner. Knowing the trends associated with certain behaviors will help you see things more clearly.
You don’t need to play the guessing game. You catch the signs earlier and plan your exit.
What are the common signs someone’s flaky?
They make you feel like they’re into you yet their actions don’t match
The moment you started chatting, you felt strong chemistry, and your mind’s full of those scenarios of what it looks like to be with them in person.
They also confirm it by making you feel special. While it’s nice to talk on the phone, you wonder why not go on a date? It’s been a month!
But when you bring it up, he keeps saying things have been busy and “we will meet when work is slowing down.”
In summary, their words don’t match their actions. You’ve had a clear picture of this person entering your life, while they haven’t made up their mind.
How to deal with them:
Susan Winter, the author of Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache told Elite Daily, “Some individuals don’t take social commitments seriously, and this is a red flag. There’s only one reason for flaking on a date — you’re not important to your date.”
It’s one thing to do not want to go on a date, but another thing to actually set a date with someone and then decide to cancel it. Once is okay (with some reasonable reason), but what if it happens more than 3 times? You know at this point, they’re just flaking.
The best time to deal with this type of person is to set clear boundaries. Let them know when things got unbearable instead of agreeing on a new date. It’s okay to cut things off after you’ve given enough chances. You don’t need closure. I think this is one of the times when it’s acceptable to ghost someone.”
Continue reading the full article, Clear Signs the Person You Fell for Is Flaky, on the Good Men Project.
