By Austėja Bliujūtė

When you reject a guy, do you expect him to hang around in friend zone (and hope to eventually win your affection)? My feature in BoredPanda talks about a woman who did, and why that skewed dating-logic doesn’t make sense to those around her.

A recent Reddit discussion has reignited the conversation about dating in your 30s. While the initial spark of a new connection can be thrilling, the article acknowledges the potential burnout from repetitive first dates and predictable conversations that can come with dating.

The focus of the discussion centers on a man’s encounter with his wife’s friend’s views on dating. The friend believed that men she rejects should remain friends with her, hoping to win her over later. However, the man argued that most people in their 30s are looking for a real partner, not someone to keep on hold as a potential option. The online community overwhelmingly sided with the man, suggesting that the woman’s expectation for men to remain friends after rejection is unrealistic and reflects a need for a more grounded approach to dating.

Susan Winters weighed in on the debate saying, “It is not advisable to accept a friend zone if you want to be a romantic partner.” She emphasized that it’s a ‘long game’ that causes anxiety and emotional trauma to the person seeking more than just friendship. “It is rarely the case that a positive outcome occurs for the lover in waiting.”

Speaking about changes in priorities as we age, Susan noted that to some degree, the original poster was correct. “20s-30s is not a specific tipping point. However, it is true that as we mature throughout life, we begin to understand which associations feel rewarding and which do not.”

And finally, Susan pointed out that acquiring and maintaining a romantic relationship has become far more difficult than in past generations. It is also well noted that younger generations have difficulty with real-life communications. “The courtship dance feels foreign to younger generations, on both sides of the coin, so this attributes to much of the hesitancy, and striving for a safe position (friendship) at the periphery of their crush.”

If you want to get more details about this debate or give your own opinion, you can read the original article on Bored Panda here.