Is ‘hardballing’ a good option for establishing honesty? My interview with @herdotie shares the healthy benefits of “truth telling” from the first date onward: #hardballing #honesty #datingadvice

Trine writes, “Honesty is the best policy. Imagine you are getting ready to go on a date with someone new. You have bought a new outfit, have splashed out on a blowdry, have taken extra care with your makeup and am literally just about to head out when you get a text to say: “So sorry! Got caught up in something in work – mind if we take a rain check?”

I don’t know about you, but I have always struggled a bit with expressing when I get disappointed with something someone does, and quite often just find myself brushing it off, saying something like “Don’t worry about it, you couldn’t help it” or “It’s totally fine, don’t worry.”

Even though it isn’t totally fine.

Enter ‘hardballing’ – the dating trend Gen Z is embracing that is all about just this –  not saying you are OK with something you are not OK with.

Originally coined by Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, hardballing is a new dating term that means someone is being clear about their expectations of a relationship, whether you want a serious long-term partnership or a casual fling.

So, how do I hardball?

“Hardballing” is – in short – when you tell someone all of your expectations upfront before you even go out on a first date. That way, you don’t waste your time and can weed out anyone who may not be as serious about a relationship as you are.

Speaking on the US Today Show, Susan Winter, bestselling author and relationship expert of “Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache, explains:

“Imagine the years of your life you wouldn’t have wasted hoping that somebody would eventually learn to like you enough to be into a relationship with you or dating in the hopes that once they fall in love with you, then they might want to marry you,” Winter said.

“And then once they marry you that they may want children. There are so many contingencies in place. I think it’s better to be very honest.

A great way to do this is to use “clear cut, thoughtful, tactful and diplomatic language.””


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