Meredith Clark New York

When’s the right time to talk about being exclusive? My interview with @independent offers best practices for successfully becoming official. #datingadvice #exclusive

Meredith writes, “Those three words – “What are we?” – are bound to come up at the start of any new relationship, and often elicit conversations about how you and your partner are progressing as a couple. When dating someone new, it’s difficult to determine what their intentions are, but a healthy dose of communication can lead you two in the right direction.

Fortunately, letting your partner know that you’re ready to be exclusive doesn’t have to be a huge conversation. In fact, dating experts say to treat it just like any other interaction.

Susan Winter is a relationship expert and the bestselling author of Older Women/Younger Men. The New York City-based expert offers a cheat sheet to her thousands of YouTube subscribers, by breaking down complicated relationship situations and providing tips for direct communication. According to Winter, becoming exclusive with someone means focusing your time and energy on one person. The reason the exclusivity talk is met with so much relationship anxiety is because for the last 20 years, we’ve been putting “the cart before the horse” when it comes to dating.

“When you start with sleeping together and hanging out together in an undefined relationship, there’s already tension,” Winter tells The Independent. “Dating intentionally and being very direct from the beginning sets a precedent as to what you are looking for. It doesn’t mean you’re going to find it with that person, but at least you’re giving them a heads up as to the direction you’re going.”

Oftentimes initiating the topic of exclusivity can cause a lot of anxiety or nervousness, but if you communicate early on that you’re not just here to have fun with no strings attached, it will feel less like a proposition and more like a basic fact about yourself. Winter suggests initiating the conversation with declarative statements, rather than the dreaded, “What are we?”

“You don’t need to go through the agony of asking a question and fearing a response,” Winter says. Instead, she recommends listing qualities that you enjoy about the person before stating your intention to become more serious: “I think you’re so interesting, I’m so proud of the work that you do…”

Continue Reading: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/dating-relationship-advice-exclusive-b2013551.html

Paywall? https://news.yahoo.com/let-partner-know-ready-exclusive-230702087.html