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Can not having a fancy vacation as a kid make you insecure about money as an adult? Childhood beliefs around ‘money issues’ can filter through to our adult relationships. My feature with @Newsweek explains how these attitudes affect (and alter) the balance of our romantic partnerships. #money #control

Matt writes, “A man is being bashed when a joke he made was taken seriously, when he said the fancy vacation he just came back from was what he “should’ve” had as a child.

The original poster (OP), u/Icy-Cellist449, shared his story to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, earning 3,800 upvotes and nearly 1,000 comments for his post, “[Am I the A**hole] for being honest with my parents about my childhood?”

He says that his family was poor growing up, and he was able to attend college only via scholarships and what he calls “s**tty part time jobs.” Though he says it was difficult, he doesn’t harbor any resentment towards his parents.

However, his fortunes changed when he met his partner. While u/Icy-Cellist449’s family had trouble making ends meet, his husband’s family is wealthy. He works for his father and has a cushy job.

This summer, OP and his partner went on vacation with his partner’s parents, which was full of “sight seeing and bouncing around to their different vacation homes.”

On the way home, u/Icy-Cellist449 and his partner visited OP’s parents. The vacation came up in conversation and OP said that the summer felt like “what all the summer breaks of my childhood should’ve been.”

Money—whether there’s too little of it or too much—can be a cause of strain in a relationship. Sometimes if one partner has much more money than the other, it can be seen as a symbol of power, according to Insider, regardless of whether it’s actually used as such.

“Traditionally speaking, money equals power,” relationship expert Susan Winter told the outlet. “And the one with the power is the one who controls the relationship.”

But Winter argues that if the difference in money is leading to insecurity, it’s worth it for the couple to sit down and have a “who does what” discussion, so the less-wealthy partner can still feel like they’re contributing. Winter also points out that being the “kept” partner in a “sugar daddy”-style relationship can be difficult as well.

“What may seem like a lot of fun at first is actually disempowering. Being the recipient of gifts and a convenient lifestyle often backfires,” Winter said. “What looks like a good deal at the beginning actually trains the recipient to become weak.””

Continue reading: https://www.newsweek.com/man-slammed-telling-parents-he-should-have-had-fancy-vacation-kid-1729855