Traditional vows of commitment don’t necessitate a traditional relationship.

The beauty of modern marriage is that you don’t have to follow yesterday’s rules. You needn’t take on the historic pattern of how it should look or how it should function.

Modern couples are far too evolved to want to re-create an existing formula. Yet, they may long for this established statement of their love. Inside this archetype, the challenge is to create what is real and true for both individuals.

Last night, I had dinner with a friend and colleague who recently married. She is a modern woman in a traditional structure. She will not be moving to the suburbs. She will not be driving a Range Rover or become a soccer mom.

She and her husband will invent their own version of marriage— one that resonates for both of them as being real and authentic.

They will have a family in the future. How that family will function, will be something they discover together.

Within this marriage are two independent and adventurous people. They both love life; exploring, traveling and being in each others company. They’ve lived and worked all over the world. Though the commitment they’ve made may look traditional from the outside, they will enact this partnership in a modern way.

The pressure to conform to society’s version of marriage is omnipresent. That’s the reason many couples shy away from this format.

But marriage today needn’t replicate the past. We’re free to create our own template.

As an evolving species, we’re  instinctively drawn toward advancement. We may use that imperative to eliminate what we don’t want, and add in those things we do want. While external pressures may be greater in that attempt, the knowledge that we can indeed have the life we want inside marriage, is liberating.

Both my friend and her husband are adjusting to this new dynamic. They want a big, rewarding life. Individually they’ve created this for themselves. Together, they’re working as a team. The combined force of their efforts allows the best of them to come forward, doubled in capacity.

This new twist on an old form is freedom at its best.

To allow for their desired growth, they’ll decide each step of the way how to carve out that design. In doing so, they’re adding dimension to their concept of “marriage.” That expansion liberates others to discover their own unique expression within this archetype.

If, in looking at the existing marriages of this world we don’t see what we want, why not create anew what we do want?

The beauty of life today is that we can choose “a la carte.” We can design the relationship we want within an existing construct. The exterior shell may appear to be the same, but the interior components may be altered to our liking. There’s no limitation as to how we may do this.

Marriage “a la carte” is a new frontier ready for exploration.