Articles: Beginnings

In the height of a new romance, there's a desire to spend all our available time with our partner. The thrill of finally meeting someone who wants what we want, and wants that thing with us, is delirious. The tendency is strong to seclude ourselves from friends and the world, as we discover this new love and create its foundation. That's natural, and often desirable. However, it's ultimately balance that we seek. While very fiber in our body may want to spend endless days with [...]

Unless your BFF is the Dalai Lama, keep your own counsel when a relationship is in its formative stages. It's not that we can't or shouldn't talk to friends about what's going on. It's a question of the quality of feedback we'll get in doing so. Each person comes with their own baggage and emotional landscape. Well-meaning friends can taint our vision of what we're experiencing, sheerly by their perspective. Unless you consider this person to be of high-functionality, and one you trust to [...]

I had a friend who was a prima ballerina. She was gifted and highly disciplined. Yet when it came to men, if they made the smallest of mistakes she went directly to the “F.U.” kick. No questions asked, no defense heard. It was the only movement she did repetitively. I understood her philosophical theory, and I also watched as one man after the next made a stubble or hard fall. They liked her. They cared about her. She was so guarded, that she automatically chose [...]

Dating begins with the presentation of “who we are.” Are you showing up as the “real you?” Or, are you presenting a different version of yourself in the hopes of impressing another? First dates provide an opportunity to create an impression by putting one’s best foot forward. It’s tempting terrain for pretending to be something we’re not. Doing so eventually hurts both parties. In pretending to be something we're not, we fool the other into buying into a product that’s clearly not for sale. We [...]