If there’s anything worse than experiencing a breakup, it’s having to talk about it. At first, you might keep the reasons behind your decision to part ways private. Eventually, however, — be it through a change in relationship status on Facebook or word of mouth — family and friends are bound to find out about your recent split.

But just because your friends come bearing pints of ice cream and boxes of tissues, ready to discuss such current events, doesn’t mean you have to be.

Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, a licensed clinical psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author of the new book “Training Your Love Intuition” told INSIDER that when you first break up, your emotional needs come first. In other words, allow yourself time to process and understand how you’re feeling, why you feel it, and then, when you’re able to approach the subject without bursting into tears, or experiencing fits of anger, you can talk about the breakup calmly and rationally, Wish explained.

Figuring out the best way to talk about a breakup starts by getting to know your audience

If you think you’d benefit from a little comfort and support in that moment, you’re entitled to that, certified dating and relationship coach, and the founder of LoveQuestCoaching.comLisa Concepcion said. However, just be mindful of who you confide in off the bat.

Whether you’re talking with friends and family, or coworkers, remember that less is usually more

It’s normal to lash out or reveal personal, potentially ugly details about your ex in the heat of the moment, but bestselling author/relationship expert, Susan Winter said the best way you can go about explaining a breakup to someone is with caution and discretion. It might feel good to vent out your frustrations, but the less you say, the quicker you can move on from the subject altogether, and the less likely you are to say something that you’ll regret.

“Take note of the protocol well-managed Hollywood celebrities have used in stating their romantic endings positively,” Winter suggested. “These statements are brief, and show respect for the ex while stating they are no longer a couple and have gone their separate ways.”

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