By editor Chelsea Ritschel

What are ‘must know’ questions that need to be asked on a first date? My interview with The Independent shows you how to gain key information in a lighthearted, comfortable manner. #firstdates #intentionaldating

Editor Chelsea Ritchel writes, “While some individuals have mastered the art of the first date, for many of us, the meetings are frequently fraught with sweaty palms, nervousness and stilted conversation.

Fortunately, according to relationship experts, there are some tried and true methods for ensuring that a first date conversation goes smoothly, regardless of whether you feel a spark or ultimately decide to end the date as friends.

To find out what topics to discuss and what questions to ask on a first date, we spoke to relationship expert and best-selling author Susan Winter and Relationship Hero coach Shoya Arriana, who shared their advice for increasing chances of scintillating conversations and connections.

According to Winter, one of the most important things to remember with first dates is that they should be about having fun and getting to know an individual in a “light-hearted manner,” which means that at no point should it feel as if you, or your date, are on a job interview.

However, she also notes that the type of first date you have will depend on what you are looking for, whether it be a relationship or something more casual.

For those who are looking for a partner they can get serious with, a category of individuals she describes as “intentional daters,” Winter first advises not bothering with suitors who are not looking for the same, noting: “Intentional daters shouldn’t waste time on window shoppers.”

However, if you and your date have established that you are both just looking for fun, Winter said the first date requires less-specific conversation about goals and values, telling us that it can instead focus on “attraction, chemistry and flirtation”.
“This first date conversation can be fluid as expectations are low and have less concern for heartache. You’re trying to see if hanging out with this person will be a fun fit for you,” she explained.

As for questions intentional daters should be asking first dates, Winter told us that these individuals are advised to broadly inquire whether their date is “open to the possibility of a relationship”.

“This is a generic, not specific, question. You’re not asking them to be in a relationship with you. You’re asking ‘why’ they’re dating. What’s the desired outcome? This is an important time-saver,” Winter said.”

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