The most common concern of an older woman not wanting children, is that her younger man does. Over the years, I have received countless emails on this subject. The older woman is distraught with fear that she will lose her younger man, if she doesn’t comply. It’s a difficult transit for both parties.

The question of children, or not, can be a known deal breaker. I have researched this issue for over a decade and the variations on its outcome still amaze me. I’ve seen men leave the older woman they loved. They chose a younger woman for the sole purpose of having children. I’ve also seen the frustration many of those men encountered. They reported the price of gaining a family, was felt in the loss of their former level of communication and intimacy. I have seen younger men move on altogether. I’ve also seen younger men who walk away, only to return years later resigned to not having children, in lieu of having the older woman they truly love.

The most important thing for any woman, is to be true to herself. If the reason for having children is simply to please another, it is NEVER a valid reason. Everyone, including the children, will suffer for this choice. It must be a decision that is authentic and true, for all parties concerned. To seek to comply to another’s wishes, will always backfire. It smacks of insecurity and desperation.

If your younger man is firm on the fact that he wants children, and you do not, then you must act in accordance with your inner truth. Yes, it maybe the best of all possible relationships. But, if it isn’t in alignment with your heart’s desire, it will never be good in the long run. Be true to yourself, above all. Even if this choice carries the risk of losing your partner— it is more important not to lose yourself.

But take heart. There is much more that can and will happen in the time that passes. I’ve seen older women make this choice, and then discover another partner who is in agreement with their lifestyle choice. I’ve seen the original younger man return. In order to be our best selves in any relationship, we need to be true to our inner guidance. We need to speak our truth, and live that truth. As far as I know, this is the only life we have. It is ours to create as we see fit for our personal expression. Never compromise your heart’s desire for any man, or any one. No one gains in the end. By taking a pro-active choice to live your truth, no matter what the outcome, you will ultimately be happier. In the realm of living that expression, you will draw in all the right people and situations. Life goes on, and with greater results, when you are designing your highest reality.