Is it ever okay to ghost someone? Surprisingly, yes. My interview with Glam shows you when you a hard cut-off is the right move: #ghosting #boundaries #safedating
Journalist and editor Amanda Chatel writes, “Although it’s probably safe to assume that people have been ghosting since the dawn of time, it’s only been since 2015 that the term “ghosting” has become part of our vernacular (via Mic). And now we know that it was just the beginning of dating-related terminology that was going to seep into our lives and conversations because dating in the digital age allows for certain behavior. Benching, breadcrumbing, cushioning, kittenfishing, stashing, and more: what world are we living in? But back to ghosting.
To refresh your memory or to introduce you to something that you may be fortunate enough to have never experienced, ghosting is when two people are dating and one of them decides to simply peace out. Literally. No goodbye, no well wishes — they just disappear. “You cut them off completely, and there’s no forewarning,” relationship expert Susan Winter tells InStyle. “In another time period, if you want to get rid of somebody, you say, ‘It’s over.’ They have an idea that it’s ending, and there will not be communication. But with ghosting, you’re not even given the heads up.”
When you’re not being respected
Although social etiquette tells us, for the most part, that ghosting is bad, there are actually cases in which ghosting someone isn’t just more than okay — but also deserved.
Whether it’s your time, your boundaries, or your safety, you — everyone — deserve to be respected. If someone can’t respect you in all the ways a human should be respected, then don’t even hesitate; ghost them.
People have boundaries for a reason and those boundaries should always be respected by everyone in their lives, including someone they’re dating.
When there’s abusive behavior
Abuse can come in different forms. There are physical abuse, emotional abuse, and mental abuse to be more specific. Although the latter two aren’t as visible, these types of abuse usually include lying, manipulation, and gaslighting, just to name a few.
“Manipulation, agenda, and self-interest are perfect reasons to ghost someone,” relationship expert Susan Winter tells Elite Daily. “Their interest in you isn’t genuine, so there are no feelings to be hurt by eliminating them from your life.”
People who use intimidation to get what they want or to isolate the person they’re dating are only thinking about themselves. This type of behavior doesn’t get better, it can only escalate. Then before you know it, you have a controlling, obsessive person who’s showing up to places to keep an eye on you and similar unwanted conduct (via YourTango). This is, in no way, even remotely appropriate. In these situations, you shouldn’t even think twice about ghosting. You should ghost and block immediately.”
Keep reading the full article, When is it Okay to Ghost Someone?, on the Glam website.