In former times, we assumed that couples who slept apart were no longer romantic. Nowadays, it’s just the opposite. My interview with InsideHook examines the sexy new trend of separate bedrooms: #couples #sleepingapart #marriage #livingtogether

Journalist and editor Kayla Kibbe writes the following:

I always assumed it said bad things about my capacity for intimacy that I’ve often thought, should I one day make the grave error of moving in with a romantic partner, I would want us to have separate bedrooms.

But it turns out I’m not the only one whose romantic ideals center around plenty of space and solitude. Various books and articles about happily cohabitating partners who live together but sleep in separate bedrooms have begun popping up in recent years, and coronavirus lockdown conditions have done little to discourage the idea.

With couples spending virtually every waking hour together amid the pandemic, alone time is becoming an increasingly scarce, valuable commodity in many relationships. And while the idea of sleeping in separate bedrooms once sounded like a death knell reserved for soon-to-be divorcés and sexless marriages, it seems a room of one’s own is becoming a more attractive option for plenty of couples in happy, healthy relationships.

“Traditionally, we assumed that couples who slept apart were either having relationship issues or had lost the desire to be intimate,” says relationship expert Susan Winter. “Today, that’s not the case. We now see couples making lifestyle choices that work for them and their disposition.”

As accepted norms about sex and relationships continue to shift in the face of challenges to preconceived notions of monogamy, gender and sexuality, many people are beginning to break with other traditional relationship dynamics as well, including sleeping arrangements.

“We’ve entered a time period where sleeping apart is simply an option no longer tethered to negative meanings,” says Winter. “Nowadays, we can tailor our relationships to suit our needs. We don’t need to follow old rules that don’t serve us.”

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