As women, we have been historically conditioned to nurture others. It’s part biological, and part societal. This is especially apparent when it comes to the men in our lives. While this ability is one of our greatest qualities, it can become problematic when dating a younger man. The instinct to nurture emotionally, often becomes transmuted into nurturing financially. With the added resources of economic empowerment, an older woman who nurtures in this way, risks becoming “the source.”

The Source is another term for becoming the “mommy.” But today’s mommy has money. And, she’s apt to shower her younger man with gifts. Why not? She can afford it. But this method of becoming indispensable, will also become her downfall.

There’s a temptation for older women, when dating younger men, to use the courtship patterns we know. The traditional formula is; Money and Power are traded for Youth and Beauty. It’s a barter that’s stood the test of time. It’s also a barter that never ends well— leaving the giver feeling resentful, and the receiver feeling guilty.

As society changes, and women’s socio/economic status increasingly becomes equal to that of older men, the need to refrain from this type of behavior is imperative. Please do not allow yourself to be lured into this archetype. Resist becoming the source. Allow the younger man, to be the younger man. Love him. Support him emotionally. But do not buy him. It will your doom, and certainly end what may have been a beautiful partnership. You will end up hating yourself, and probably end up hating him if you ignore this advice.