By Linne Halpern

What constitutes a ‘relationship dealbreaker?’ Does your partner hurt you, then blame you for being too ‘sensitive and reactive’? My interview with Bumble calls out the refusal to take responsibility as well as 7 more relationship dealbreakers: #dealbreakers #redflags

Journalist Linne Halpern writes, “How do you determine what behaviors should be labeled “dealbreakers” in a healthy relationship? There are clear ones (abuse of any kind) and less clear ones (trust issues and disagreeing on core values, for instance). And sometimes, those less obvious actions can be tricky to name. If you find yourself questioning where to draw that line, we’re here to help. We spoke with three experts and developed a list of behaviors that should always be relationship dealbreakers.

Refusal to accept responsibility 

When it comes to arguments, taking ownership of past faults is crucial for forgiveness and moving on. Relationship expert Susan Winter says that you’re probably being manipulated if you find yourself in a situation where, “no matter what your partner does to hurt you, it’s not their fault. It’s your fault for being sensitive and reactive.” Your partner’s failure to accept reality and accountability will create a hamster wheel effect, leaving you feeling unbalanced and in an unsustainable relationship.

Inability to resolve conflict

Winter advises that you’re probably in a destructive cycle if “your partner enjoys drama and fighting, and refuses to look for healthy solutions to issues.” Temper tantrums and a romanticization of emotional instability are signs of immaturity that won’t bode well for long-term partnership. Winter adds, “If there’s no conflict resolution, resentments will grow, which will erode any love that was there in the beginning.”

Failure to grow

The desire for growth is underratedly important in a relationship. “If a partner seeks to stifle your growth due to their own insecurities, the relationship will end,” explains Winter. Your partner should want to see you striving for your potential, achieving career goals, making new friends, and learning new things. If they feel threatened by your growth or are unwilling to grow alongside you, problems will arise. Working together to bring out the best possible version of each other is a huge factor for a relationship’s ultimate success.”

Continue Reading: https://bumble.com/en/the-buzz/relationship-dealbreakers