1.Talk It Out

There’s nothing like talking something to death to kill the romance, but if you and your partner are struggling, communicating about what you’re each missing and how you’re feeling about the relationship can go a long way to bringing back the lust. Dr. Orbuch suggests communicating about your expectations when it comes to romance and listening to each other’s needs and desires. She says it’s important for couples to understand that “they have control and the power to add romance, passion, and excitement to their relationship.”

2. Start Small

As Overstreet says, it’s important to “celebrate the minutes of the moments of the hour.” Give each other a kiss before and after your day, if that’s important to you, and especially if that gesture has fallen by the wayside. Set aside some tech-free time to tell each other a few things you’re grateful for, or things you appreciate about the other person. Send a flirty text or make a surprise call in the middle of the day, or leave a sweet or sexy note for your partner. “The number one glue to keeping couples happy is appreciation and acknowledgment,” adds Winter. These seemingly small gestures can have a major impact on romance, and bring you closer together without you having to plan a trip to Paris or Rome.”

3. Bring Back the Adventure

If it’s the thrill you’re missing, plan dates that are a little daring. Winter says that one of the conflicts of long-term love is that “in order to have stability, you give up adventure and spontaneity.” Adding back that adventure can also up the romance. She suggests rock climbing, rafting, a hot air balloon ride, a tango class, or even a trapeze lesson. Anything wild and a little scary to bring back that thrill and pull you both out of your comfort zone is a good start. You can also set up a treasure hunt for your partner, which is a little more tame than rafting, but can be just as exciting. The clues can be romantic reminders of moments you shared, and the end prize will be: You!