By Ashley Fike

Age-Gap relationships work when the right foundation has been set. My interview in Vice shares 5 essential ways to solidify your love as you grow together.

Age-gap relationships attract a lot of judgment. People are quick to assume there’s some hidden agenda—someone being taken advantage of, or unresolved “mommy” or “daddy” issues at play. When in reality, maybe it’s time everyone paused the speculation and focused on their own lives for a change.

To be fair, the skepticism isn’t completely unfounded. Significant age differences can come with real challenges—finances, mismatched life stages, power imbalances, family planning, and long-term care.

Journalist Ashley Fike writes, “But experts told SELF that age-gap relationships can work well when both people face those realities directly, rather than pretending love will magically smooth them over.

1. FIND COMMON GROUND THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS

Susan Winter, author of Older Women, Younger Men, said that shared interests can help couples stay connected across generational differences. That could mean music, travel, humor, lifestyle, or the way you both like to spend a Sunday. The point is that there has to be something real holding the relationship together. ”

2. STAY CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENCES

Mindy DeSeta, PhD, LMHC,, a sex therapist married to someone 18 years her senior, explains that strong couples show real curiosity about each other’s worlds. That means staying open to different friends, interests, cultural references, habits, and ways of living. You don’t have to fully immerse yourself in your partner’s generation—but making an effort goes a long way.

Fike continues, “At the end of the day, an age-gap relationship survives the same way any other one does. Two people have to be honest, self-aware, willing to communicate, and mature enough to face real-life problems before those problems take over. The age difference may be what gets noticed first, but it’s not the defining thing about you guys. ”

To learn the other 3 ways to make an age-gap relationship work, Continue Reading