What are 4 great tips for dating after divorce? My interview in Women shares the best strategy for re-entering the dating scene with confidence and clarity. #datingafterdivorce
Getting back into dating after a divorce requires courage and resilience. Once you’ve finished empowering yourself with your favorite breakup anthems, it takes real strength to re-enter the dating world and try again. People may approach post-divorce dating with various intentions, but regardless of the motive, it’s essential to be prepared, stay clear-eyed, and trust your instincts.
Women spoke to relationship expert and bestselling author of “Breakup Triage; The Cure for Heartache,” Susan Winter to gain advice on how to be proceeded when re-entering the world of dating.
Journalist Amanda writes, “A good way to gauge your readiness, according to Winter, is if you’ve had enough time alone to not only process the relationship but also realize your true self, separate from your former spouse. After all, jumping into a relationship immediately after one ends is rarely a wise choice.
Expect to encounter some challenges
If you’re someone who dates straight, cisgender men, it can be even more challenging. “While the ladies have been working on themselves physically, emotionally, and psychologically, oftentimes the men they meet have not kept pace,” says Susan Winter. “Nowadays, men increasingly lack the presentational skills to know how to dress, court, and engage their date in interesting conversation. The common complaint I hear is that men have forgotten how to date, altogether.” There’s also the age cage, as Winter calls it, in which women want to date men their age, only to realize that men want women considerably younger, which can lead to self-doubt.
Steps you should take to get started
While online dating may be the easiest way to get back in the game, it’s not the best for recent divorcees. According to a 2023 survey by Pew Research Center, not only are dating apps geared toward younger people, but 51% of women-identifying users report having negative experiences. So, you may want to skip that whole thing and start saying “yes” to social opportunities instead.
Susan Winter agrees that getting social is a great way to start, as is becoming a joiner — which may mean getting out of your comfort zone. “Expand your world. Go to lectures, concerts, and gatherings,” says Winter. “Try new areas of interest by taking an in-person course. Pick up the hobbies you put aside in the past.” When you find people who share your interests, conversations become more organic.
Things to keep in mind
There are many things to keep in mind while dating after your divorce, but some are more important than others. For example, if you can pinpoint why you’re dating and have a clear understanding of what you want this time around, you’ll be in a good spot. “Know what you want, and what you don’t want. Re-enter the dating world with clarity,” says Susan Winter. “If you don’t know what you want, you’ll get what they give you.”
Last, but certainly not least, take your time. “Rushing into the arms of someone new seems like it could erase all the past pain, but left unchecked, it’s guaranteed to create more pain,” says Winter. “Consider if this new person is worth the emotional investment.” Even if you’ve done the work and know you’re ready, it doesn’t erase the past or delete emotional baggage, so be kind to yourself, listen to your instincts, and have fun.
Read More: Women Article
