• “Pocketing” is the dating trend of hiding your partner from your friends, family or on social media.
• While it can be unintentional, often times pocketing stems from shame about who you’re dating.
• Experts explain why the trend is toxic and when it’s time to end the relationship.

People should be proud to show off their partners and relationships. But does it ever feel like your loved one is hiding you from their friends and family? Or refusing to publicly acknowledge the romance on social media?

Dating experts say these concerns come up frequently, so much so that this behavior even has a name. It’s called “pocketing,” which refers to not telling others about someone you’re seeing.

Common signs of being pocketed include constantly being excluded from group activities or never appearing in a post on your partner’s otherwise active social media pages.

Overall, it feels like there’s a segment of their life is off-limits.

“(Pocketers) may fear what others think of you, so there’s this sense of shame around dating you.” says relationship expert Susan Winter. “They may fear your social standing or education isn’t up to the standards of their crowd… leading to this feeling of ‘Why am I not good enough?'”

“If your partner says something like, ‘someday you’ll meet this person,’ or ‘I can’t wait to introduce you to this person,’ this is a very different feeling than being pocketed. Because when you’re being pocketed, it’s like you’re intentionally being excluded,” Winter explains.